Wednesday, February 18, 2015

This Neveruary

This was published last February before the election but it somehow disappeared. I wonder why.

The scientist looks harder into the telescope, he is bored of the problems here. He wants to create new ones out there. Are they out there staring back at him or are they already in the neighborhood? He knows the truth, but he has traded the freedom that comes with telling it for the power he was promised for keeping it. Can we have both power and truth at the same time or will we never know the truth about aliens? A few gods own the truth and they keep the power and they are not willing to share either with the rest of us. They want us to think that we can only get one or the other but their true intention is to make sure that we are only left with a delusion in our hands. They leave us wondering whether we should pay the price for truth and give up our power or pray that we never find out the truth that will haunt us. This Neveruary, he is going to find out whether to pay or pray and he will take the advantage of the power of truth from the self acclaimed gods of capitalism and share it with the rest of us.

Politicians fighting for power. An aging ruler vs a struggling simpleton. Who will win the race? With a vicious run for it, they find smart thinkers, and planted their seeds of reasoning. Some called it change others transformation. Some watered it with money, others placed a higher value for their conscience-more money. They added fertilizer on the seeds- all colors of religious and tribal sentiments, some good intentions (the kind that pave the way to hell) and the promise of a few big interests. The hungry streets grew with the seeds and the fruits of opinions were formed. The fruits fell on the ground and littered the floor. They rot and filled the whole air with their smell- this is the food of the streets. Soon, all you will ever know about those streets will be the fruits of the opinions. Except that the innocent children who are crying out for their future beg that they are not a part of the argument for the more appealing mediocrity. They do not want Goodluck to be their valentine and they do not want to see this Febuhari come to past. All they beg for is that politics be based on patriotism, fair judgement, and the right values. The politicians both backed down and said, you know what? They are right. Since we can't give them what they need, we will back down and find someone that can this Neveruary.

A lonely boy got popular. But it didn't help his loneliness. He has been lonely for so long that the few times he makes love with his right hand, he feels less human. Loneliness seemed to be his destiny until he fooled a girl to be a part of his loneliness. And they started sharing that loneliness together. He is not sure how long he can keep her there or how long he will want her to stay. But he spent valentine's day with her, unlike one of his friends who broke up with his girl for farting on a date two days before valentine's day. He even bought her a precious gift from a land too far away unlike his other friend who emailed his girlfriend a pdf novel she had been looking to read. All these he did knowing that he needed something for the future. So he gets proactive as he plans the next 10 steps. He wastes no time in finding ways to fill his future loneliness with friends he could replace his hand with or better yet friends he could fool to make a lifelong commitment to share and enjoy his loneliness. The only problem is that it is not the future yet, but he has started living it. He stops himself halfway into completely escaping into what he is enjoying and brings himself to the present where the innocent girl he fooled was waiting to share his loneliness. He will get rid of his projected happiness and be faithful to this girl and he will turn his loneliness into togetherness and have friends for the sake of friendship only, this Neveruary.

Friday, February 13, 2015

Life Hack- How to Rule the Friendzone Like a Champ

1. First, drink in the rude awakening: Accept that you are not being desired the way you want. This is actually hard until you let go of your sense of self entitlement, that feeling that you are supposed to be wanted, you are supposed to be needed, you deserve her/him. Fact is that you are not loosing out by letting go, you are simply accepting the fact that that person does not see you the way you see them. Admitting to that will help you keep a healthy dose of self-esteem.

2. Feel Bad About It: I know exactly how this sounds on the surface, it is not a real advice. But I have noticed that the reason why we undergo prolonged suffering is because we are in denial of what we are truly feeling. You already feel bad about it, but you try to remind yourself of little victories that negotiate that feeling. Bad news is, you will only draw yourself into a stream of uneasy battles, first with yourself then with the other person to overcome those feelings. Feeling bad about it is the right reaction, and the right reaction is a step away from the right next action.

3. Call it a bad idea: You like her/him, she/he doesn't like you the same way. The implication of this is that you two cannot have something special because you do not like each other the same way. If that was the picture of a relationship, you will not be happy, because you will outspend your energy in an unbalanced relationship. A status is not worth your happiness. Make it clear that your happiness too matters, and that is hinged on being desired in a special way. If this person is not willing to give you that, well then it means you have to find another that will willingly give you what you want. So in a nutshell, withdraw your desire and save it for another.

4. Be a friend: Duh! If she says she just wants to be friends, you realize that is all that you can get. My advice, take it. It might be very hard going back to being friends as normal, but journeying back to where you started is one way you can recover. Learn to appreciate the person as a friend and get rid of any extra expectations you have. This is what it means to be a genuine friend. This step is actually telling you to be selfless. What will you gain from this? There are no guarantees, but you would have done well in handling things the best possible way and if the friend does not appreciate you for that, I promise to give you a medal if you ever meet me.

5. Wear a cape, or at least a t-shirt:  I mean, be the bigger man, the matured party, climb the emotional high ground and operate from that level. The feeling of disappointing another might not go well with him/her, so put that into consideration and help the other party realize that you can actually be happy (if not happier) being friends. This will not only make the other person respect you, it will boost your self esteem and help both of you deal with the friendzone well.

6. Move on: This cliche is necessary, but you have to move on in the right direction and only after you have gotten over the negative feelings that welled up from the friendzone experience. Technically there is no such thing as a rebound from a friendzone, but watch that you are going for what you want, not running from what you cannot get.

This is all I've got on this. Remember you have to communicate all these steps, so be sensitive to know when to apply which step as they may not work out in any particular order.