Monday, September 15, 2014

Silence

I hear silence
I hear the streams of nothingness bounce off the walls of my mind
This stillness plays a familiar tone I have come to know
It beats the dud rhythms that I identify with more often than not
But I have to defy the articles of the law to do some justice to it
The true laws of grammar and the way of words
Permit me also to scale the walls of conventional literature
Do not be offended by my rebellion of everything conventional
I just don’t buy that shit
Now with words of a king I am here to proclaim silence my queen
She waits for me as I draw away from the world and mankind
She is always patient to make sure that we are both alone
I remember when I first met her
It was a long time ago, about my earliest memories
It was when I was first plagued by consciousness
When I first realized I had feet and teeth
Silence was my first love
Always there to embrace me when the world declared itself my enemy
She saved me when I was drowning in all the bullshit around me
She kissed me with the deepest passion when loneliness made mockery of me
Yes, silence is my first love
And we’ve both had a long thing going for a long time coming
One time, we had our unusual lovers’ spat and I turned to my brother for help
He rained my praises everywhere I went
And she got jealous, I couldn’t understand why
She was always jealous of people that posed no threat to her
So she made enemies with everyone and everything
My brother, my family, my friends, school, I mean everything that you can put together in words
I didn’t realize she had left me until one time when I needed her
When everyone around me seemed to fornicate with foolishness
And dwelt only on the surface of things
I have to admit that I floated to the surface too
Maybe that was why we had the problem
I took out my weight and just left her in the deep and went my way
Their way, the way of the world
Until I found that I couldn’t do without her
That my whole essence depended on her
That with her I could find the completeness that I sought
Then I started to seek her
I started to crave her voice
And all those conversations we had with no words
I remembered once again, all the peace she offered
And her selfless love, the kind I was counting on to help me find her now.
 And that memory did serve a good purpose
Slowly I started to ebb down that familiar road to her house
I closed up the books, turned off my friends
Made my way to the gate and boarded a cab home
I rushed through the door like I always did
The sound of automobiles receding behind me
I flung my bag to the floor, it’s usual place-anywhere on the floor that is
Slumping to my bed, I started to tune off the loudest noises
I made it down to the smaller details eventually
The distant voice of a radio from the next compound
The blue birds chirping away their time on the branches
The occasional tips and taps of random sounds
Could she be behind those drapes that seem to be hiding more than the view?
I didn’t wait for the answer to that question
I peeled back the curtains and made my way to her
I followed the sun, and everything beautiful it had to show me
And I got to the clearest of waters, so true I could only think of one thing
I dove in and went as deep as I could
So deep that not even the sound of my thoughts could venture
I made it to hers
And she stood as she opened the door, just before I knocked
Clearly she was waiting for me
The delight in her face paralyzed me when I realized I didn’t bring her anything
I was not only paralyzed, I was lost
I couldn’t find the words I had rehearsed in the mirror
Yet she figured me out and swallowed all my doubts in one embrace
Then came the release

The usual letting go of things that only the two of us were used to

But you couldn't rule out the awkwardness as we made an effort to adjust