Thursday, April 3, 2014

Read at your own risk

I caught an impression, half an inkling it was, a little larger than a speck of thought.
No it was slightly bigger than a hunch, yes it must have been some ginormous idea, an astronomic epiphany maybe.
Okay, I exaggerate. My words were hitting the ceiling of the universe already. I have out-scaled the essence of measure itself.
I will be calm and remain so. I shall appeal to the quintessence of modesty now. Stay humble dear self.
In all honesty it would have been worth dismissing this thought in the first place. A fart could weigh more on a scale of sensibility. My mind could have been up to no good when I thought about it.
But the truth in all honesty is that I felt like I hit gold when it first came to me. And I felt my ego buffed in the afterthought. Yes it was certainly something of sorts that could as well amount to nothing.
I know I should probably stop swinging my psyche in opposing directions. I am fittingly aware of the effects of frictional thoughts. I should perhaps disclose this thought and leave the judgment of it to beings outside myself.
Therein lies the disappointment. I don’t remember the details of that thought. It was almost as if my mind spat it out the second it was spotted, refusing to be associated with anything that constituted its semblance.
Maybe it’ll come back in the next dream. Or the next fart, or the next spittle…who knows? And when it does, I’ll have the confidence to justify making you read all these words.
For now I've got nothing, and I’m not making any promises. Be kind and unread what I have written as true as they are. Let these words go to waste, make room for them in your trash can.
These words say a lot about me, I know. I stop some conversations as soon as I utter their opening lines. And it pisses people off sometimes. Yet I am not the one to apologize for who I am.
The only explanation to that is that some thoughts take flight before they crystallize in my head. They are short ropes that I have not found use for. My mind discards them but the trash can is somewhere in my head. And I think it mixes up with some pretty nice and beautiful thoughts I've had and messes them up in the process.
Why bother then? Why go all out and even write this and share it with people when most of the stuff I've written may not be shared with anyone ever... I should probably stop this right now...